The Evolution of a Dysfunctional Family Part 1

Of all the characters I've created, none have experienced as much change and alteration over the years quite like my wild, whacky, fucked up little family of angels and demons that consist of one God-like figure, one Devil-like figure, and one woman (who is either an angel in one interpretation or human in all the rest) who gives each of them one daughter.

Just to clarify, this was overall what my characters were supposed to look like in the earlier stages:

Darkness:

Holly (the mother):

Malice (daughter of Darkness and Holly)

Lilianna (daughter of Holly and God)

....and the character for God (or The Creator as he is referred to in the earlier versions) never has an actual appearance until much, much later.

Is your head spinning from the bad fanfiction vibe of it all? Then you should probably stop reading. It's about to get a whole lot worse. 

In the beginning there was really just the Devil and his daughter, who at the time was named Malice. The Devil in this particular roleplay was inspired by The Lord of Darkness from Legend. There was no mother figure and she was never mentioned, but the relationship between the father and daughter ranged from oddly loving and affectionate to horrifically violent. There was little to no development whatsoever between the two other than the fact that the Devil was off doing bad things and Malice spent most of her time avoiding him and getting wasted and/or laid. 

In another roleplay, things took a far more interesting change, arguably for the better, but it was still pretty silly all around.

In this second roleplay is when Holly is introduced into the storyline and she is an angel. We learn later on that Malice was in fact a devil-angel hybrid because apparently Holly had a thing for the Devil once upon a time and it came with some dire consequences. As a result, her child had to go and live with her father since demons are not allowed in Heaven. In the mean time, Holly had a fling with God and gave him a daughter, who was Lilianna. Malice also had a half-brother on her father's side named Sven, who was a pure demon. This is the story that is every bit as melodramatic as it is silly: Sven hates Malice on the grounds that her father seems to favor her over him, but she loves her brother and is protective of him on several levels, even though he doesn't care nearly as much for her. The Devil, on the other hand, is horribly and sadistically abusive to his children. Even if his treatment of Malice is not as horrible as his treatment to Sven, it is still painful and brutal.

Why is he so abusive towards his children? Because he's evil and that's what evil guys do and why the fuck not because that's how bad guys work, right? 

Yeah, as you can see, I put really no thought into the main antagonist of this story whatsoever. He mainly exists just to be mean to his kids, try to destroy the world, and occasionally bone an angel. Good times.

On the bright side of things, Sven actually develops as a character:

If I could compare him to another character it would probably be Vegeta. He never really becomes a "good" person but not exactly an anti-hero either. There will always be that darkness and evil inside of him but over time he's learned to become more composed and overall become a better person because of the company he keeps. Sure he is not one to be affectionate or loving or even nice, but he builds a tolerance for certain characters and that in turn helps him develop the closest thing he'll ever experience to friendship. Unfortunately the roleplay ended before anything interesting could happen and I've never used this character again. Pity, because he actually sounds like he had way more potential to be great than the other characters.

Which brings us to Lilianna, who pulled a Renesmee before I even knew what Twilight was. Never thought you'd live to see the day, right?

In the beginning, Lilianna is just born and is entirely dependent upon her mother. However, since she is a divine creature, she already has this wisdom and understanding from the moment she is born and doesn't require nourishment in order to survive. Pretty much she was the perfect kid right off the bat: she didn't scream and cry and you didn't need to feed her. Badass. Actually the only time she did cry was when Holly is fighting a tentacle monster (no really) and gets her wings ripped out of her back. This causes Lili to scream hysterically which, I don't know, maybe meant that she had this very deep connection with her mother or some shit that I didn't bother to go into at the time when I wrote this. In all honestly I think it just sounded cool.

Anyways, at some point I get sick of this kid being helpless and useless so she either wills herself to grow older (about eight or six years older by human standards) or asks her dad for some help (he IS God, after all) and now she's fully capable of speaking and communicating and all this other good stuff. And I guess she has magical powers or something. The roleplay ended before she could actually do cool shit so I think for a time she was just that for the cute!!! factor.

Holly on the other hand went through the least amount of change. She was always a maternal figure but also something of a blonde. She was silly and funny and had a sense of humor but balanced it off by being serious when it counted and kind but firm to the other characters. She also really loved flowers. At first a very pregnant Holly would appear to Malice in visions and dreams, but when she gave birth to Lili, they both took on material forms. To keep from standing out in a crowd, Holly's wings would be concealed in her back and would literally have to burst out of her back in order for her to use them. This process was always painful, but angels come with White Mage powers so it wasn't much of a burden on her. There was also an unrequited love between she and The Devil: he still wanted her, and while she did have some lingering feelings for him, did not love him nor like him enough to betray the Creator for him. Oddly enough, she was never romantically attached to the Creator either. I think the closest she ever came to really "loving" someone was with a bisexual angel, but we'll get to that character another time.

Which then brings us right back to Malice. If the story had a dramallama, it was this kid. In her defense she was probably the only character who went through the most emotions and conflict: love for her brother and father despite their cruelty, undying affection for her mother and sister, heartache that comes with being in love with a person who does not love you, jealousy, anger, a constant struggle between becoming more of a demon or more of an angel, if it sounds like a headache now I can only imagine what it was like back then. These aren't necessarily bad things but they were not exactly handled well either. She came off as bratty and irresponsible, and yet somehow people still managed to like her. She DID come with a sense of humor and had a lot of very funny scenes and over time DID learn from her mistakes, but it still could've been handled better.

To be continued....

Songs That Inspire - Under the Bridge and Free Bird

I'm one of those weirdos who will listen to music and either let that inspire how I write or create my characters, or will relate my character to that song in some way:

 Under the Bridge

Under The Bridge by The Red Hot Chili Peppers  is one of those songs that I can listen to all day, every day, on repeat, without ever getting sick and tired of listening to it. I can't say that about too many other songs even from my favorite bands and singers. Maybe it's the fact that I've listened to it so much that it's impacted how I create my characters. In any case, this is a Rosie song, through and through.

I imagine that this is a song that someone either wrote about her or one that she wrote about herself. I think the beauty of this particular song is the fact that it is very personal and sentimental without being whiny or self-pitying. This is a person who is very honest about his loneliness and sadness as a result of his drug use. On the other hand, the song isn't so depressing that you cry every time you listen to it. It's almost empowering and uplifting in a sense, especially towards the end of the song. 

I imagine this is the sort of character Rosie would be: someone who is likable and fun to be with and listen to, but there is a side of her that is very sad and very troubled. While she may be open and honest about those feelings, it never feels like she would be burdening another person with her problems either.  

Another song that reminds me of Rosie is actually something that came right out of a movie. I don't think I've ever listened to Free Bird the same way ever again after watching Forrest Gump:

Free Bird 

 This entire shot is perfection. I love how the suspense builds as the music gets louder and faster, and even when it settles down, that rush still doesn't leave you. Everything from Jenny changing her mind at the last moment and then breaking down in the chair flowed so flawlessly with the music.  

Keep in mind that Rosie is still a character that I am working on. In fact, all of my characters are still going through a series of changes as I write them. At the moment, there is no horrible past experience for Rosie, at least not nearly on the same level as Jenny in this movie. However, hard drugs and alcoholism come with suffering and I feel that this scene is probably something Rosie would feel on the inside. There is something about her behavior and her life that she hates about herself despite how easily she seems to be handling it.  

 

Carmilla Inspirations - From Monica Bellucci to Harvey Dent

Mircalla "Carmilla" Karnstein

(Batman OC)

This is an OC that I have used in both Batman fanfiction and roleplays before The Dark Knight Rises was released. She was first created in a Hellsing RPG where she was the actual villain from the Sheridan Le Fanu story. When my friends and I created the Batman RPG, I thought she would be interesting enough as a Batman villain. I made her a human, gave her a backstory, and threw her into the mix. Over the years I've tried to make her an actual character that isn't connected to the novel or to any fandoms of mine, but that will require changing her name completely. Haven't thought of a good one yet.

First and foremost, the "face claim" I've always used for Carmilla has been Monica Bellucci:

I have always loved this actress. There is something remarkably gorgeous and different about her. Maybe it's the fact that she is an older woman but still has a very mature and sophisticated beauty to her. Maybe it's the fact that she will play anything from a vampire bride in Bram Stoker's Dracula to Mary Magdalene in The Passion of the Christ while providing the voice for Kaileena in the Prince of Persia video games. There was no other woman I thought would not only look the part of Carmilla but, if she ever brought Carmilla to life in a film (a film major can dream?), would capture the total essence of everything I wanted in this character.

In the Batman RPG, her father was Austrian and married an Iranian woman, and while the mother identified as a Muslim woman, she did not take her religion as seriously or as strictly as the rest of her family. My inspiration to make Mircalla a more avante garde Muslim came from Marjane Satrapi's comic book autobiography, Persepolis:

At the time I have very little information about Islam, but it was comforting to know that there was a Muslim character who was comfortable with not wearing a hijab, wore more westernized clothes and enjoyed more westernized things rather than stick to a more religious and traditional lifestyle. What's more, they were both Iranian and still embraced a lifestyle that was forbidden to them in their own country. 

Unfortunately for Mircalla, this is where the similarities between she and Marjane Satrapi end.

 

Because of this, Mircalla was named after the antagonist in Carmilla rather than adopt a traditional Arab name. She lived in Austria for some time before she an her family moved to Metropolis for her education and then to Gotham City. This is where everything took a turn for the worst: Mircalla came out to her parents as a lesbian and confessed that she had fallen in love with a woman named Laura LeFanu. While she was not disinherited, her parents did not support the relationship, nor did they support the wedding that followed. They eventually warmed up to the marriage when they discovered that she was pregnant due to artificial insemination by a donor.  After finally having her parents' blessings, Mircalla and Laura lived together in Gotham for a brief, happy time. 

It was later revealed that Mircalla's father had made a few promises that he could not keep with Salvatore Maroni. This led to Mircalla's parents being murdered, and in order to cover their tracks, the mob paid a visit to Mircalla's home. Laura was brutally raped and murdered infront of Mircalla, who was about to meet a similar fate. She was kicked several times in the stomach and as one of the thugs attempted to rape her, she tore out his throat with her teeth. This horrible scene caused another henchman to shoot her twice, in the chest and then in the head. She was left for dead... except she did not die. Having lost her family and her baby, Mircalla went insane, took up the moniker of "Carmilla," and swore revenge against Salvatore Maroni and his men.

There wasn't a lot of inspiration I drew from other characters outside of Carmilla herself, but it wasn't until later that I noticed many similarities between she and the following characters:

In the case of The Bride from Kill Bill and Eric Draven from The Crow, both are central characters in a revenge story. Both have lost their families to a gang of criminals and murderers and the entire premise of their movies is to kill all who were responsible. I'll admit that these two characters didn't even occur to me while I was writing Carmilla's backstory, but I have no doubt in my mind that they unconsciously became a central part of my inspiration her story. In any case, I decided to take aspects of their stories and change them to suit Carmilla better. 

I'll admit that there are plenty of "rip offs" rather than similarities that Carmilla shares with the Bride, from surviving a bullet to the head to using a sword (a saber in Carmilla's case) as a signature weapon to kill her enemies. The only major changes would be that Carmilla does not and probably never will get that happy ending that The Bride does, and while The Bride mistakenly thought that her unborn daughter was killed, I decided to kill Carmilla's child. There would be no reason to keep her alive in the story and no reason for Maroni to take the baby as his own when this woman and her family met nothing to him. Killing off her child in addition to the rest of her family would be enough to drive Carmilla into a horrible madness, one similar to the torment faced by Eric Draven.

In The Crow, Eric is beaten and wounded and forced to watch a gang beat and rape his fiance. Afterwards, Eric is thrown out of a window while his fiance is left for dead. His soul cannot rest because of everything he was forced to watch but could do nothing about, and so on the anniversary of his death, a crow brings his soul back to put the wrong things right. Unlike in Kill Bill, Eric's methods of killing the men who did this to him are slower and more sadistic. You can see the rage in every single one of his kills. He takes his time, destroying them psychologically and then entirely. This is something I wanted for Carmilla. Her kills would not be organized or strategic. There would be no clever traps, trickery, deceit, seduction, or any of those tricks you'd see from trained assassins. It is all pure, unadulterated violence, anger, and madness.

Which leads me to two actual inspirations for her character:

Sweeney Todd is not my favorite film or even my favorite musical, but if there was one aspect of the movie that I found fascinating, it was how the sweet and loving barber of Fleet Street became this unfeeling, violent monster because of what was done to him. Again, he loses his entire family to a man with power and swears revenge. There is some semblance of a human being in there: he feels sorry and pain and even love on some levels (for his wife and daughter that he will never see again), but he can kill without any remorse or any shred of guilt. What's more, he even enjoys it when it comes to people who have wronged him. Carmilla will always be a character who is completely driven by revenge and will show no real regard for human life. 

Also, while Todd finds an ally in Mrs. Lovett, in the Batman roleplay, Carmilla finds an unlikely ally in Dr. Jonathan Crane, AKA Scarecrow. Both Mrs. Lovett and Dr. Crane find themselves strangely attracted to characters who cannot love them in return. There is a partnership that is formed out of a mutual goal, but the attraction for the most part goes unrequited. And if there was ever a memorable thing about Sweeney Todd, it was the fact that the end was not happy. He doesn't get anything out of his revenge. In fact, in pursuit of his revenge, he ends up losing everything. That's something that Carmilla knows might happen to her: she acknowledges that she doesn't expect to live much longer after Maroni is killed. There would be nothing left for her. 

While we never finished the roleplay, I've always considered that either she would die in battle or would find new lodgings in Arkham Asylum. And even then, I doubt she would even make any attempt to escape.

Last but not least, my main inspiration for Carmilla was this character:

When I saw The Dark Knight for the first time, the character I was the most drawn to was Harvey Dent. His character was the only one that felt natural and truly likable. As such, his story arc in the movie was the most tragic and horrible of all of the characters. This was a man who was on top of the world and had the potential to bring hope to those who had none, including the Batman. To see him fall from grace in this film was one of the most gut wrenching things I've ever experienced in a comic book movie.

Carmilla and Harvey never interacted in the roleplay despite the fact that the game itself took place in the Nolanverse storyline. Even so, her revenge story was intentionally similar to Harvey's. Again, she loses her loved ones to the same man responsible for disfiguring Harvey and killing his fiance. This loss drives her into a madness in the same way it does for Harvey. Two very happy, bright, good people suddenly make a 180 and turn into these damaged and violent people. For a time you can even sympathize with them, knowing that they have lost everything and do not expect to survive in the end. After awhile, it does reach a point where you realize that the people they once were are now no more, and that they are capable of committing horrible acts of violence even against people who have nothing to do with what was done to them. Carmilla has no problem killing innocent people in order to get to what she wants, and Harvey has no problem killing a child in order to make Gordon suffer as he did. 

Carmilla is not my most interesting of characters. She is a stereotypical "revenge movie" character in many respects. Throughout the roleplay I have portrayed her as damaged, incapable of loving or even receiving love, incapable of trusting in others completely, and while she may have had feelings and a conscience in the past, it is long gone now. Which, now that I think about it, reminds me of another character:

And honestly? It doesn't get anymore damaged than Lucy. Take away the romantic aspect of Elfen Lied and this is Carmilla through and through.

Which needless to say, there is a lot of work to be done on this character. I feel that I could make her better than ever if I put more thought into how she operates or at least make her have several dimensions outside of  "revenge and nothing else." But that is for another time. As she stands now, I think she could probably fit into the Batman Nolanverse decently enough.

Rosie Inspirations - From Jes and Pink to Haruka and Lisbeth

There are plenty of other male characters that reminded me of Rosie, but over the years there were a handful of female characters and people who helped shape her into who she was then to who she is now. 

First and foremost, her original appearance was supposed to look like this lady:

Yes, once upon a time I actually watched Reality TV and one of the horrible shows I became addicted to was Rock of Love. In my defense, I think it was entirely because of this lady and her hair. This is Jes Rickleff, and as soon as I saw her, I wanted my character to look exactly like her. Everything from her tomboyish personality to the crazy, wild hairdo to even her body type (very tall, lean, small breasts, but still an athletic shape). It also helped that she was a bartender and Rosie was going to be a person with a substance abuse problem. I also loved the fact that she wasn't a beauty queen: she was attractive, but not a supermodel, and she was tomboyish but not to an extremity. 

On the other hand, I'm also a film major. Any time I write a story or create a character, I start thinking of who would be the right person to play her in a movie. What would she look like? Who would nail her personality, or the way she's supposed to sound? At first she had a very heavy accent (Irish and then Scottish) but the people who looked like her didn't have one. Also, in regards to the hair style, I liked the idea that Rosie would probably switch up the color of her hair to maintain this sort of rock star image. Which lead me to another person I based her off of:

If there is anybody who can switch up the color of her hair from platinum blonde with tints of pink to all out fire rocket red, it is Alicia Moore, or Pink.

Pink has always been one of my favorite pop stars. She came in at a time where pop was associated with great dance numbers, sexy teenaged girls, really bubbly and happy music, and she came in with her own approach. In a way, it was more like an Anti-Popstar: she didn't have a rock star status, but was a lot harder and edgier than Britney Spears. She looked and acted like a girl who probably could get into a fist fight at one of her concerts but still be fun to party with. A lot of her songs and music videos had a sense of humor to them that not too many women in that industry would want to take on: she was opinionated, wasn't afraid to look silly or even ugly, but was not made of stone and wasn't afraid to show a side that was vulnerable, could be hurt, and could be sympathetic. 

These are traits that I admire in characters. I like the fact that they can have multiple sides to them. You can be funny and wild but still care about what goes on in the world. You can be a tough chick but still cry at night over the fact that your mother and father don't love each other anymore. This reminded me a lot of Rosie: wild, funny, tough, different, but still someone who had feelings and who valued the feelings of those who are close to her.

But if there is one thing I did not want to turn her into, it was one of those very cliche "bad girls who are secretly sensitive." I don't think Rosie would ever hide the fact that she was sensitive to certain things. If anything, Rosie is someone with no filter. She says what she wants and is open about how she feels or what she thinks, but people might not actually care all that much about what she has to say. I also didn't want her to have a TON of baggage outside her substance abuse problems. Rosie was not a character made for drama. She had her own inner demons and she dealt with them in her own ways. 

But when I decided to change up her image a bit to make her more of a charmer, there was one character that I didn't expect to find similarities in. It was actually brought to my attention by one of my friends, and it was a character that I honestly never really cared for until I saw those similarities.

Haruka Tenoh, or Sailor Uranus from the anime/manga Sailor Moon. 

 

For those of you who don't know, I've always been a fan of the Outer Scouts more so than the Inners. I think it was because that they were older and more experience and added a level of melodrama that was needed in an otherwise childlike program. They handled situations a lot differently than Sailor Moon and her friends did. They were willing to make and accept sacrifices for the greater good rather than think of scenarios that could benefit all parties. Even their relationships with each other were more mature and sophisticated.

 

On the other hand, when Haruka is not Sailor Uranus, we're able to see a side of her that is more laid back and relaxed. She has a sense of humor, she is flirtatious, and despite being a tomboy through and through, she is still very classy with her approach. Her personality isn't as rough as Sailor Jupiter but she is not afraid to fight dirty and do whatever it takes to win. At the same time, she is self sacrificing, willing to end her life for the sake of the greater good. While she is strong and can take care of herself, she isn't made of stone, has a lot of inner conflict, and at times needs someone to take her by the hand and assure her that she's still a good person and that everything will be better.

This was also the moment when I actually took Rosie's sexuality into consideration. In the past, she had been involved with and was attracted to male characters. Overtime, when I started using Rosie in fanfiction and multi-fandom RPGs, there were subtle hints that she was possibly bisexual or at the very least was bi-curious. It really wasn't until this comparison was brought to mind that I started really considering making her a lesbian character. Slowly but surely, I kind of took a liking to the fact that she probably loved women or at least made an effort to be kinder to them as oppose to how she treated men.

On the other hand, there is also this character:

Lisbeth Salander from the American remake of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

All things considered, she and Rosie are two completely different characters in virtually every respect. However, I loved the idea that Lisbeth was remarkably intelligent when it came to computers. I thought Rosie would be a remarkably interesting character if she had that much experience with technology as Lisbeth. There is also her appearance to take into consideration: while Rosie is most certainly "prettier" than Lisbeth, they both share a love for tattoos, preferably ones with meanings behind them. 

But the part that reminded me the most of her was not just the love of technology and tattoos, but how this very rough and almost sociopathetic character could become gentle and tender with another woman. Lisbeth certainly isn't a character who cares if she comes off as too forward or rude, and yet when she is asking her one night stand to leave her home first thing in the morning, she does it tenderly. There is no "Get your shit and get out of my house, I've got stuff to do." She slowly wakes her up, tells her (nicely) that she needs to leave, and that settles that. That girl doesn't leave the home all pissed off, or feeling used or disrespected. That is something that stood out to me the most and it's something I think Rosie would have done for another female character.

But that's about where the comparisons end when it comes to Lisbeth. Rosie most definitely is not a sociopath or someone who is damaged on that level. 

That is for another character.

Rosie Inspirations - From Demoman to Robert Downey Jr

Rose "Rosie" MacClannough

This is a character of mine that went through a number of changes since the moment of her conception. Originally her name was "Rosie Payton McMurphy" and she was Irish. It was an ode to my boyfriend at the time (who was Irish) and to the character Randall Patrick McMurphy from my favorite movie, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest (hence the initials and the last name). Now that the boyfriend is an ex, I decided to change her heritage from Irish to Scottish (especially after watching Brave) and then changed her last name.

As stated before, Rosie has gone through several changes. Originally she was more like the Demoman from Team Fortress 2 in every respect minus the fact that she was white, female, and had both eyes (this is purely coincidental if you can believe that). Everything from the drunken, swearing, wild, witty, and violently destructive behavior was identical to the Team Fortress character.

Eventually, I decided to give Rosie a bit more depth. Sure, she could be every bit as crazy and sloppy (and dangerous!) as The Demoman when she was intoxicated, but I gradually started to make her into something that had a little more charm. Sure she would look wild and spirited but I also wanted to make her into a character that could be fun and social at get togethers rather than obnoxious, I wanted to make her clever enough to be taken seriously when it counted, and I kind of liked the idea that maybe she could charm the pants off of your girlfriend. I liked the idea of making her talented (she can shred a guitar as good as any other rock star, probably was in a band at some point) and perhaps even gifted in certain areas (computers and technology).

 But it's hard to put together a character like that while keeping to her basic roots: she was going to always have a substance abuse problem (from alcohol to hard drugs) and she was always going to have street smarts (no real knowledge of martial arts, but could fight in the streets like a typical brawler). And I started wondering if there was anybody like that, fictional or real, that I could draw ideas from.

And then I remembered this guy...

...who later became this guy...

...and suddenly it just clicked. 

Robert Downey Jr. is this beautiful combination being eccentric, talented, flawed, charming, and yet still very real. He's a man who's been to prison for using hard drugs and yet released an album that can move anybody who listens to it. He can play the classy and brilliant Sherlock Holmes and then turn around and play a billionaire, playboy, genius, philanthropist superhero in Iron Man. 

Furthermore, he is a man who can turn his entire life around after making a series of horrible mistakes and save himself. Every picture you see of he and his wife feels genuine and beautiful. In the Inside The Actor's Studio interview, you can tell that there is a sincerity to everything he says. There is a playfulness about him, but one that you are drawn towards rather than repulsed by.

And who knows? It could all be his image. It could all be an act and I could be a sucker for eating it all up. But as far as I'm concerned, that image I have of him and that standard I hold him to is a good foundation to help develop one of my most beloved characters.

I like this idea of taking iconic male characters and changing nothing about them but their gender, just to see if people could still love that character despite the change in sex. Make no mistake, I do not want to make Rosie a complete Iron Man knock off. There are plenty of other characters and people that she has been based off of. But as a foundation for a character who has had opportunity, has fallen from grace, but was in an environment where all of these things were possible and believable, I think Robert Downey Jr. was the best example I could use. After all, celebrities and millionaires struggle with drugs and alcoholism the same as anybody in a lower class.

The more I think about Rosie's struggles, the more it would make sense to me if she was someone who was well off but slowly sabotaged herself over time, but rather turn her into a Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton, I'd rather she was someone whom people could still feel that attraction towards. Plus, I think it would be interest to see Robert Downey Jr.'s personality projected in someone who is supposed to look like this:

 And yes, that's Pink by the way.

Shoot Me

Of all people to actually inspire me to create a blog to discuss my characters, who and what inspired them, and all that good shit, it was Jon David. Epic fail on my part but what can you do?

I have a Livejournal that discusses everything that is not fandom-related so I decided to make this one for everything that is either fandom related or OC-related. So here we are.